Friday, October 10, 2014

Lean Times : Fat Times
With a knot in her stomach, Gina looked at the balance in her bank account for what seemed the hundredth time. How could it have gotten so low? With her credit card maxed out how in the world was she going to make it through the week? Maybe she wouldn’t have to eat. Or she could do as author, Henry Miller did; be a dinner guest at a different friend’s house every night of the week. The thought made her smile, it was certainly creative. No, she couldn’t be one of those people.

She wasn’t poor. She got paid the next week.... It’s just that after paying the bills she wouldn’t have much left and she’d be back where she was now.

She’s not alone. Everyone is worried about money these days. I’ve had several conversations with people describing exactly this situation. Hard working people just trying to scrape by.

Everyone has had lean times and fat times. There have been just as many books about the lean times as the fat times. I like Seth Godin’s thoughts on money in his blog.

Money isn't real.... Our bank balance is merely a number, bits represented on a screen, but it's also a signal and symptom. We tell ourselves a story about how we got that money, what it says about us, what we're going to do with it and how other people judge us. We tell ourselves a story about how that might grow, and more vividly, how that money might disappear or shrink or be taken away.
And those stories, those very powerful unstated stories, impact the narrative of just about everything else we do.

I’m willing to bet that our money isn’t half as important as the stories we tell ourselves about it. How much we need it, the best way to get it, the best things to spend it on.

People have different stories of rich and poor; likewise, different stories of success. These people can be inter-generational. [largely influenced by their parents, I’m sure]. What some people can do without are non-negotiables for others. Believe it or not, not all people have phones, TV, or internet. While I have not been in contact with these people in a long time to know if they have survived, I have heard they are doing just fine.

I mentioned in another post, Prosperity, how my boyfriend recalls that on the El in Chicago, during times of economic boom all of the passengers read Ayn Rand and in tighter times everyone reads Grapes of Wrath.

You are writing your financial story. You can choose to live in abundance or in poverty. If you start to stress out, change your story.

c. 2014

Tuesday, September 30, 2014


c.2013 bsm
I was absolutely seething because some cheaters were allowed to win at trivia....last Thursday. It’s not that it was just last Thursday; it was many times before and will probably be many times after. This particular host has shown that he really doesn’t care and will not enforce cheating. I waste a lot of time and energy raging about it.

“Why?” You may ask. Because that means dirty, rotten cheaters are eating our well-deserved meal!

I spent a longer part of the afternoon venting to my boyfriend about it than I would have liked, threatening to hit “SEND” on the blistering email I had written to the host's boss. One of many.

“Why don’t you be like Baileys?” my boyfriend asked.  “She spent most of the morning fighting off two pitt bulls at the dog park Saturday. Some other dogs were picking on her. [Maybe they were playing, but it looked annoying to me.] You don’t see her raging about it. She doesn’t dwell on things. She just comes home, trots around with her pheasant and baby and is happy because she has a great life.”

He mimicked her walking around in pure bliss, like she does.
I thought about it. He was absolutely right, as usual.

Not that she didn’t give the two bullies a what-for at the dog park. She doesn’t stuff her emotions. If we leave and don’t take her with us, she just poops on the floor and calmly waits for us, then is really happy to see us when we get back. [actually, she doesn’t do that as much anymore].

The point is she doesn’t sit and pout about how unfair she thinks things are for her. She’s amazingly well-adjusted. She has plenty to distrust people about. She had a pitiful past filled with abandonment. She doesn’t let it shake her. As long as she has her “pack” [the three of us], Baileys is confident that everything will be ok and she doesn’t let anything get her down. Every day is a new day filled with fun and adventures.

c. 2014

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Change in plans?

I sprained my ankle several months ago. Not exactly how I counted on spending my Easter weekend. I was so frustrated! It meant I was a lot slower. I couldn’t walk my dog, I had signed up to greet at church on Sunday...maybe I could sit and do this?.... not to mention it put a real thorn in my side at work. Why in the world did it have to happen?

This was frustrating, I’ll admit. Though much different in scope, it was not unlike the feelings of helplessness I had a few weeks ago when my mother had an unexpected stroke. It certainly intruded on her plans.

My dad took the time to go through her calendar for the week, cancelling appointments, piano lessons, meetings; because nowhere on her schedule had the stroke been penciled in.

Once we got over the initial fear that goes along with a stroke; will she be ok? We got to work on rehab. I hesitate to use the word “we;” I am only there a couple of hours a day and I help out when I’m not working, but my dad really doing all of the caretaking.

It is definitely paying off! My mom is progressing beyond everyone’s expectations. She really is doing fantastic! But it’s slow moving. Not really though.... She couldn’t speak two weeks ago.... It just seems that way, I guess. More so for her.

She was a Toastmaster and a singer and a teacher, so the slower speech issues are cramping her style, for sure. Talk about a change of plans....

Things happen, for sure. We are a lot less in control than we like to think. So how do we not allow these things to derail us?

We could and lots of people do. But more often than not, people realize a strength that they didn’t know they had. They adjust to a new normal. When I was in a car accident a while back, my mother really identified with a poem called, Welcome to Holland. Though the circumstances were different, the idea is still the same.

You are in a place you didn’t plan to be, certainly don’t want to be. Everything is different than what you are used to. You can choose to sullenly fight the new schedules, new environments, new people you hadn’t counted on meeting, new services you hadn’t counted on needing, new limitations; or be open to new possibilities.

It’s not as cut and dry as this. I don’t mean to make it sound simple or easy, because it’s not. It is a daily, hourly process of accepting.

We are in Holland....quite unexpectedly. But you know, some days even Holland has some nice weather and scenery. We’ll come back very soon with our postcards and souvenirs and say “remember when...”


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Traffic Jam...A reptilian response we can all identify with
To get to the grocery store, I have to make a left turn onto a busy street, filled with a combination of motorists doing their own thing regardless of the rules, and jaywalkers crossing willy-nilly, not caring apparently, if they live or die.

I’m not really sure why I thought going to the store on a Saturday afternoon was a good idea. I usually shop on weekday afternoons. I was not prepared for the amount of people I had to sidestep or crawl over. I was not in a bad mood when I left, but I sure was when I came back.

What should have been a 2-minute drive, turned into 5-10 minutes of stopping and gunning the engine to pass people taking an inordinate amount of time to make their next move. Everyone was driving erratically.  You could almost smell the adrenaline. [or maybe it was something else, I don’t know]. It was tough to make rational, well-thought out decisions, because there just wasn’t time.

It was kill or be killed, so to speak.

Amidst my angst, a surprising moment of clarity emerged. This is exactly what it’s like when you are thinking with your reptilian brain.

We live in the modern jungles of panic, hurry, and fret. It is hard to stay clear-headed, to not to get caught up in the frenzy. While we are not foraging for our next meal...actually, I guess I was in this instance...we are foraging for comfort. Anything that gets in the way of those basic comforts should beware.

I came back from the jungle unscathed, thankfully. But it worried me. Many of us, myself included, are making important life decisions under these conditions. Thank goodness I didn’t happen to be at this time, because I was running on automatic. My options for how to deal with these stressors were limited to fighting them or fleeing them [or just freezing].

The other motorists and shoppers were doing all of those, actually. Some were driving their car or their cart aggressively, daring people to get in their way. Some were paralyzed to a standstill, some were just speeding off to get away.

Next time I find myself in a reptilian moment, or just a traffic jam, I will not join the lizards, I need to slow down...think...and breathe through it.

c. 2014 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

No Worries

The Pack
c. 2014 J. Kurant
I was as much dreading this trip as I was excited about it. This was our first trip as a “pack,” Adam, Baileys, and I. It would be Adam and my first long trip as well.  I rarely travel. I don’t like to fly and I’d just as soon stay home rather than plan and execute  a trip However, in my older age, I’ve been experiencing some wanderlust. I was excited about seeing Vermont again, excited about driving through part of the country I had not been in before. I was excited about driving as a pack with Baileys.

We had stocked up on some water, sandwiches and snacks at the grocery store a few days before so we wouldn’t have to stop.

The first leg of the trip went smooth. We rented a cute lime green Kia Soul with a wicked blind spot. [We didn’t tell them we were bringing our excessively shedding Husky when we got the car].

After work on Thursday, we hit the road. The first leg was easy enough. Despite a few misleading Starbucks signs, which set us back a little, we managed to make it to Allentown Pennsylvania, pretty late.  We stopped at a Sleep Inn. It was the first place we saw, and serendipitously it allowed pets. A free breakfast was served at 7:30am.

Adam went down first, while I stayed with Baileys in the room. We were on the third floor with the smokers and other pets. It was a floor you could only get to by elevator, not by stairs. Kind of like that hidden floor in the movie Being John Malkovich. We slept great.

He came back raving about the breakfast. “You will be in heaven,” he said. “There are eggs as far as the eye can see.” [He knows how much I like to eat.] I’m still a bit fuzzy. I’ve not had coffee yet. So I stumble down to the elevator and there are a bunch of other travelers eating breakfast.

I’m not thinking clearly yet, but I see no eggs as far as the eye can see. I see cereal, danishes, bagels and fruit. A really perky lady from what sounds like Wisconsin asks me if she can help me. I zero in on the coffee. First things first. Maybe then I can make some sense of this.

I decide on cereal and a cheese danish. Still no eggs. It was a really nice set up, and the lady running it was really sweet.

We started the second leg of the trip. I was still full of anxiety as to what lay ahead. I needn’t have wasted so much energy worrying. It was great! We stayed with some family friends  on their house right on Lake Champlain. They had the biggest vacation home on the property.

We had dropped Baileys off at this close-by kennel that has the dogs run all day everyday. It is the first time Baileys has been apart from us. She handled it much better than me. She seemed really excited when she heard the other dogs. I cried though.

The rehearsal dinner was just for the wedding party, but they had a little dessert get- together for the rest of us. We realized that we needed real food, so we skipped out and drove to a cute little pizza place in downtown St. Albans.

We were so close to the Canadian border that some of the road signs were in French. It made me feel so international. We turned in early because we were so weary from traveling.

The next day was the wedding. We went sight seeing beforehand.[Adam wanted to show me Burlington]. We helped the family set up some of the wedding stuff. We walked past Adam’s three uncles struggling with the kerosene bottles for the lanterns.

“Can we do anything?’ Adam asked.

“These things are sealed shut. Can you try?”

“Let her try,’ Adam said, nodding at me.

The three men kind of chuckled, having all tried, unsuccessfully.

“Actually, I’m pretty strong...”

“Seriously, give her a try,” Adam said.

They were all pretty impressed when I opened them all. [hee hee].

The wedding was beautiful. It was outside, right on Lake Champlain. The weather couldn’t have been more beautiful. To everyone’s surprise, the bride’s uncle presided over the wedding.  It was a perfect touch to a close, family wedding where everyone felt like a part of the family. Everything was so beautiful. [I did cry].

On the way back, we visited my aunt and uncle in Rutland. We were having a hard time finding where they were, which increased my stress. I just knew we were going to get lost or destroy the rental car somehow. We found them finally! We had a great visit. They had made sandwiches and all kinds of food for our journey home.

This was really such a great trip. And to think I was tempted to bail out because I was stressed...

c. 2014

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

A review of Steps to Salvation, by Shlomo Attia

c. S. Attia
Don’t let the title deceive you. I can almost guarantee it is not what you are thinking. This is not your mother’s salvation book. The salvation is referring to our country. This intricately woven tale merges with history and current events seamlessly.

Set in the futureSteps to Salvation talks about a time when society was ruled by their reptilian brains. It is both chaotic and scary. Personal freedom is replaced by corruption in all areas.

Thrown out of his Jewish school, in Tel Aviv, Israel, for questioning, Shlomo Attia was born inquisitive. Successful in business, he felt the calling for something more; an itch that needed to be scratched.  

At the time, he probably didn’t think the tragic accident that nearly took his life would bring him any closer to his purpose. He was actually pronounced dead by two different people. But as they were prepping him to go to the morgue, they saw a faint pulse. They hooked him up again. During this time his subconscious transported him on a whirlwind trip to the beyond where he spoke with many historical figures.

He sits in on Mr. Bauer’s history class, tucked away in Arusha, Tanzania in the year, 2412. Mr. Bauer knows that the only way to make our futures better is to not repeat the mistakes of the past. Knowing our proclivity to do just that, he embarks on a mission to redeem our future.

Mr. Bauer teaches his students “Salvation Time” in an interactive event they will not soon forget. “Salvation Time” is not simply a future event to be looked forward to. It encompasses the past and present.

Mr. Bauer’s class is no ordinary class. It includes the descendants of Adolf Hitler,  George Bush, Debbie Wasserman-Schulz, Ava Braun, Mao Tse Tung, Paul Rothshchild, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, among others; all of who are embarking on the large task of atoning for their ancestors’ sins and restoring their earthly images.

Their elitist ancestors had all contributed in some fashion to the creation of hell on earth for some, in order to make themselves wealthier and happier.

It is through this journey that Shlomo realizes what things need to change. He goes through the "higher-brained" steps, which we as Americans need for our own salvation to save ourselves from this probable future if we don’t heed the lessons from our past.

It is riveting and guaranteed to make you think. Whether you agree with it or not, you will be glued to the page.


Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Happy @ Work

c. Jim Donvan
Jim Donovan truly lived a roller coaster life. He went from working for two major TV networks as well as entrepreneurship, to living on the streets of New York. Sometimes you have to lose it all to realize what’s important. Happy @ Work wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t found himself in a hospital bed, emotionally and financially spent and bankrupt. That was what drove him to start seeking answers.

Many people have found themselves in similar situations. Rags to riches stories are certainly nothing new. What makes his story so special is not only how relatable it is, but how fixable it is.

Happy @ Work is a very short, step-by-step guide, packed with 60 very do-able, seemingly simple steps that you might not think would make a difference, but I can attest firsthand that they do. Some of my favorites include:

"One of the reasons that so many people are unhappy is that their lives are out of alignment with their core values." Jim Donovan. Happy @ Work (Kindle Locations 588-589). New World Library.

It’s important to know your own values so that you’ll make decisions that make you happy. It’s important to know other peoples’ values so that you can communicate with them, making them happier.

 One of the underlying themes in the book is the importance of self-talk and how it can empower you to realize your values and dreams. The actions he’s advocating are simple but powerful thought tweaks. It requires a purposeful change in thinking, breaking embedded thought patterns. Anyone can do this, but not everyone will.

Whether you are at your dream job, still in school, a stepping stone, or someplace so far out of the realm of what you ultimately want to be doing, know that you are where you need to be right now. You owe it to employer and customers [and yourself] to do your best work.

• This starts with letting go of limiting beliefs. I could never do that job...make that that company.

Jim Donovan will tell you, “I guarantee that the salesperson in your company who earns ten times the average does not work ten times harder. Rather, he is operating from a different set of beliefs and guiding principles, using different strategies, and taking different actions.” Jim Donovan. Happy @ Work (Kindle Locations 1386-1388). New World Library.

He talks about telling yourself a different story. Citing the law of attraction, we attract what we think about, he encourages us to think about and talk about what is going right in our jobs. 

• Become a “goodness finder.” Catch people doing right things and praise them accordingly.

Our thoughts are powerful, simply by doing a mental shift where we think of
challenges as opportunities, rather than problems. You will find work more enjoyable when you emphasize the good things. You will be more enjoyable to work with as well.

You might be asking, How will I address what’s wrong and make improvements if I’m only focusing on the good? I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying, “I didn’t make a mistake, I just found out how not to do it.”

A better way to deal with problems is to ask,

• “What’s working?” Instead of “What’s wrong?”

When you find what’s working, you do more of that action. Routines and values must change before actions can change. This takes focus. Focusing on the negative is just so, well, negative. If you are focusing on what is working, you will see more success.

• Remember that any “menial” work [or part of our lives, for that matter] is a part of something bigger. We can reframe how we feel about and respond to it. As a result we can

- Advance confidently, not fearfully
- Endeavor to live the life you have imagined, you were born to live. Do your best.
- You will meet with success. Yes you will.

He emphasizes how important it is to set goals. While you may find it crushing to not meet goals, even if you fall short of the goal, you are still better off than if you had not set the goal.

 “Show me a stock clerk with goals and I’ll show you a man who can make history. Show me a man without goals and I’ll show you a stock clerk.”
JC Penny

“One year I set a goal to deliver fifty live seminars and talks. That would have meant I’d be speaking an average of once a week, an ambitious undertaking for most professional speakers. In reality, I delivered only thirty-five talks that year. Did I fail? I think not. Without that goal, how many times would I have spoken?” Jim Donovan. Happy @ Work (Kindle Locations 437-439). New World Library.

It is very easy to set goals. It is much harder to actually fulfill them. He advises to attach actions to our goals, Otherwise it is easy to just leave them in our dreams. When we assign even small daily steps to our goals, they are so much more manageable. Before you know it, you are meeting them!

He encourages us to stretch beyond our comfort zones. That is the only way we’ll truly excel. We can find out what works and what doesn’t.  It is also very empowering. When we meet that goal that we never thought we would, it’s quite a rush. When we don’t, we have a frame of reference for the next one. This didn’t work, but I survived. It is exciting and scary, but so rewarding!

The number one deterrent for not realizing your dreams is FEAR. When dealing with fear, He says, “Remember that FEAR, or False Evidence Appearing Real, is just that — false evidence. You have no reason to fear attempting your most audacious goals, so why not just go for it? It is likely that if the goal is big enough and important enough to you, you will find a way to accomplish it. If your desire is strong enough, you will be guided to the right resources, people, information, and actions to reach your objectives.” Jim Donovan. Happy @ Work (Kindle Locations 487-490). New World Library.

The importance of priorities. Priorities are just as important as goals. Don’t do anything else until you have completed your priorities.

You can find out your priorities by asking yourself good questions.

"If you want happier and more productive at work and in your life overall, begin to formulate better questions. We human beings are conditioned to ask and answer questions...I believe that one of the problems individuals and companies have is the habit of asking small, uninspiring questions that, in turn, produce small results. Jim Donovan. Happy @ Work (Kindle Locations 718-719). New World Library.

Asking questions like, “How could I do this better?” “ What could I do this month to add 12 new customers?” Even something as simple as, “Why am I here?” will cause your mind to spin with ideas that will reinforce your success.

There is so much more that I’ve left out. I’ve only touched on my favorites, lest I give away the whole book. I found myself so inspired after reading this, that I feel like I want to read a part of it every day before working, just to get my energy going in the right direction.  I'll let you know what happens!

c. 2014